Happy, Positive, and in Denial.. 4 steps to moving forward when stuck
Updated: Apr 13, 2021
"People don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed." Friedrich Nietzche
I have not written in a while and I had an interesting conversation with a friend that made me want to write about this subject of being in denial and using positive thinking as an escape from what is really happening in our lives.
In my past ten years, I have been through every training imaginable regarding positive thinking and the law of attraction. I believe in it, I love it, and do my best to live by it.
However, I think there is another side to it that many people don't want to talk about.. and that is when people use being positive as an escape from issues, problems, or things in their lives that need to be changed.
I remember when one of my mentors in sales did some training with me, told me that one of my jobs as a salesman was to help someone see "the truth" about their situation if to help them see how whatever I was selling would be the best option for their situation and then let them decide if it was or not.
This is a fine line to dance on, because if you push to much and burst their bubble, they go into panic mode and associate you with the pain they feel. If you do not go enough, then you do not truly assist them in seeing how their lives could change for the better.
This approach is the "diagnosis" type, much like a doctor does when he sees a new patient.
When you are sick, do you go into the doctor and tell them all that things you positive about? Or do you tell them exactly what is going on? The less truthful you are with the doc, the less likely you are to be helped, healed, or assisted in getting better.
This same thing applies to our lives in every area. The less likely we are to be honest with ourselves when something isn't working, or not flowing how we would like, the less likely it will be for it to be healed, helped, or assisted in getting better.
I have seen many people who think that not looking at their problems is the way to go about making them better by being positive about them. I think this state of denial is harmful and ultimately destroys those things they would want to attract or succeed with.
An example is when someone has a flat tire are they just going to be positive about it and look at all the wonderful things that come from it? Yes they could, but that doesn't fix the tire. Could they be positive and attract some help? Yes, BUT SOMEONE HAS TO FIX THE TIRE. Being able to be real and look at something saying, "This tire is flat, I need to fix it" Is NOT being negative, its being honest about the situation you are in.
When I was coaching, I always, ALWAYS first start by getting a VERY clear idea of where they are right now. Good and bad, for how are you supposed to get better if you never take a look at where you really are?