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Boundaries: 4 Thing to Consider

Updated: Apr 13, 2021

Like most of my posts, this one has been on my mind for a while, but I had an experience that made me want to actually sit down and write about it. Hopefully my thoughts help you in some way either professionally or personally. This is a long one so buckle in...

I got involved recently with a project, which shall remain nameless, that the owner was a super nice guy, very complimentary, and positive. He asked me to take on more of a booking bands type of role with his company using a unique venue and performance concept. I got excited and agreed to be involved, got in touch with over 10 bands of all kinds about the concept and they were excited as well.

The time for our first show came and we had to cancel 2 weeks out because of the owner pushing back the date. It was OK the first time, things happen, so we kept going and rescheduled. The second date came and went, same thing happened. Now realize, in the entertainment world... cancelling even once is a HUGE no no. It hurts everyone's reputation involved. This went on to happen 6-7 times, each time ending with me having to call my friends and music professionals, telling them it was cancelled yet again because of the owner or some venue problem came up that restricted us from actually holding an event. Now in the midst of all this, I was building relationships with venues, I met a lot of corporate people, and felt good about it, in spite of the continual delay in things happening.

This last time was the last straw for me. Now, looking back, I realized that I should have stepped back a LONG time ago. One reason why I didn't was because I thought the opportunity would be worth all of the pain of rescheduling shows over and over. Another reason is because I did not do the things I will talk about below.

After reflecting on this failure as a company and my own personally to adhere to my own boundaries, I thought of what I would do different next time. Here is what I have learned.

As you look at the above picture, which one are you USUALLY or which one is your GO TO?

I can tell you being very honest that I am usually in the loose or porous category. It comes from me being "a nice guy" and others, are very rigid, not allowing any flexibility at all. The balance comes from being healthy. Not closed off, not totally open, but healthy COMMUNICATED boundaries.

When I used to teach a weekly self development class, this lesson was always one where people struggled with, but also loved the most.

So let us start with this? What is or are boundaries? Well from Wikipedia:

Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for